There is a an unfortunate condition that afflicts millions of people (in some cases animals) not just in the United States, but worldwide. Millions of dollars have been dedicated to fighting various plagues that afflict our modern civilizations, however, not one cent, nada, nothing, zip, has been put aside to fight the most dastardly of all: BOREDOM!.
Think we are not serious? I was close minded at one time too.
I remember watching TV some time ago, I think it was one of those News shows they show at night time about a bunch of girls who went around robbing little convenient stores a.k.a liquor stores.
After they were caught, everyone wondered… WHY?
These girls had money, a nice home, a warm and loving family. Sure, a few were a little pudgy, and some had a small bit of acne, but nothing big was wrong with them. Some even looked, good (If you know what I mean )
Everyone, including, yours truly, wondered “What in the devil’s bowels would make them do such things?” Was it mind control? Terrorists? Al Qaeda? Witches? Demonic possession?
Then a revelation occurred. In an interview with one of their ringleaders, she said the words that changed my life forever: “Never let yourself get that bored”.
Wow! The world suddenly made sense to me. I finally got it. I found my calling. I learned that boredom causes soooooooooooo much suffering, and that something had to be done. Years later, when I got some free time, I created GlobalSpot.Com.
Here are some major symptoms and warning signs you need to look out for. A victim of boredom will:
- Yawn constanstly, so much so, that tears can be rolling down their face.
- Look around at nothing in particular thinking “I’d rather be dead right now”.
- Stare out the window, and day dream.
- Glue pennies to desks (not that I have done that)
- Start visualizing other people in the room naked, especially, good looking ones. (Again, not that I have done that, I was told by bored people. )
- Roll their eyes, and blow bubbles with bubble gum (or they will try to with regular gum, and tire themselves out trying).
- Eat obsessively and grow fat right before your eyes.
- Start touching themselves in places they shouldn’t (Again, I stress, not that I have done that, I was just told.)
If the boredom does not go away, they will start to bad things, such as cause trouble, beat people up (especially nerdy folks), go on a crime spree, torture small animals, etc. In the end, we all pay for it. Crime and vandalism goes up, weigh loss programs pop up left and right, and only God knows what else. So my friends, and fellow earthlings, if you see someone or even an animal being bored, point them to our website, and let them be happy once again. It will be our pleasure to kill boredom once and for all.
Tony “Never Bored Again” Capuzzi.
I used to get bored like a teenager in a really hard Math class like subtraction. I used to take my pick up truck and run over small furry animals. The food was good, but I needed something better. Then my Ma/Sister told me about GlobalSpot.Com. Now, I just pet those little creatures and smile towards the sky. Thank you GlobalSpot.Com, I love you, you’re so purdy. —Peter S. Little
I was so bored one time a few years ago, I started yawing constantly, tears started rolling down my eyes, blurring my vision, and I ended up crashing the school bus I was driving into a tree. Thank God, no one was hurt. I wish I had some GlobalSpot.Com before I started driving the bus. Now I visit GlobalSpot.Com all the time, and I have my life back! —Bertha Cox
I so bore one time, I go crazy. I purr my pubic hair, and it hurt so bad. Naught, naughty me. I look at GlobalSpot.Com, now I happy. Hahahahahahahahaha. I laugh now. —Candy Powers
I was so bored that I joined a cult. Hey, I had nothing better to do. They made me shave my hair, and ate pigs feet all day. Then, I heard about GlobalSpot.Com. Now I quit the cult, and I will never eat pigs feet ever again. By the way, my hair is growing back. —Roberto Chang