Jokes

Please remember that these are JUST jokes, they are NOT intended to offend anyone. However, if you are the kind of person that gets offended easily, or prefer cleaner jokes, click here to go to our squeaky clean jokes section.

FYI: These jokes are mostly contributed by our readers.

Blonde Jokes

• The Blonde and the Construction workers
• A Blonde's Brain At Work
• Why can't a blonde dial 911?
• Another Dumb Blonde
• A Flaky Blonde
• Alligator Shoes
• Adventures in Disneyland
• A blonde in an electronics store
• Interview with young blonde

The next day, on her way home again, the construction workers asked her again to climb up a ladder, this time for $50. The blonde agreed again! She climbed up the ladder. When she got home, she told her roommate again. Her roommate said "Girl, I told you they just want to look at your panties!".

The blonde quickly replied, "this time I fooled them, I was not wearing any panties".

A Blonde's Brain At Work
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. "That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.

Another Dumb Blonde
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!'' The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

A Flaky Blonde
One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help. ''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried. ''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''

Alligator Shoes
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

Adventures in Disneyland
Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left." So they went home.

A blonde in an electronics store

A blonde walked into an electronics store sale and found a bargain, "I'd like to buy this television set," she told the salesman. "Sorry Miss," he said, "but we don't sell to blondes." The blonde hurried home, dyed her hair black, returned to the store, and was told again, "Sorry, we don't serve blondes."

Thinking he had recongized her, she went home, cut her hair, dyed it red, put on a pair of sunglasses and went back to the store a few days later. Again she approached the salesman and again he said "Sorry , Miss, but we don't server blondes." Frustrated, she screamed "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

The salesman sighed,"because that's a microwave."

Interview with young blonde

An Executive interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."